Story Snippets from Garry’s world.
I used to be scared that I would get stigmata because God doesn’t let you decide things like that, so I tried to make myself want stigmata, on both hands and both feet, so that way I’d definitely not get them and then after thinking about it a bit more I was scared that God […]
Tying teaspoons to my toes You don’t need to live in the desert to punish yourself. You don’t need to wear spiky underpants… But punishing yourself can make the pain in your heart okay to live with. After I killed my Granny by accident, I could not watch Tennis on TV with my mom anymore.
Tying teaspoons to my toes Read More »
First Draft… in edit. Garry age 8: I killed my Granny – but by mistake. She shat her intestines out and all over the place, and that was probably the worst day of my life, and although when I think about it, the days immediately after that were not much better. I snuck up on
Garry kills his Granny by mistake Read More »
Putting eggs back together My Mom was a good mom; she held back the gates of hell for me, but in doing so, she unconsciously showed me where they were geographically; I can always find them without really even trying. She also gave me my love of reading and she gave me persistence and patience
Putting eggs back together Read More »
Potatoes on Police cars. Remember how I told you once about the Next-Door-Neighbour who gave his wife all those knuckle sandwiches and how he kicked his dog until it died? Well, I wrote a letter about it and gave it to my teacher. I didn’t tell her about the ice cream twirl on the Landy,
Potatoes on Police cars Read More »
Change Gears Garryand his scrapbook of snollies. Garry did not just LIKE to pick his nose,he LOVED ithe NEEDED it. He took it seriouslyand he did it welland he did it daily. All his life, Garry was teased and mocked,bullied, bashed and beatenjust because he loved something differentto what everyone else loved. Society does not
Change Gears Garry and his scrapbook of snollies. Read More »
I first found him on a wall covered in stickers in a roadside cafe called “Ronnie’s Sex Shop” in the middle of nowhere in the Cape’s Karoo. I had to look through all the stickers, and that took a while, but when I saw his sticker, I knew this was the man, this was the
Finding Mr Floppy Bunny Ears Read More »
If you can swallow four Myprodol capsules without even a sip of water, then swallowing a single 9mm will cause you no discomfort. I can swallow four and even more at one go with no problem. I think my salivation glands have superpowers and are easily overexcited, and so now, each Friday afternoon, I swallow
Poes Klap Piet Everyone called him Poes Klap Piet, and he was the kind of guy that Charles Darwin would have been really interested in. He had these big hands, like seriously really big hands, freak-show collectable hands. His fingers were as thick as shotgun shells stacked three high. Each segment of each digit was
“The pigeons don’t wear jerseys in the cold because they don’t know how to knit, but flying under the radar in the cold will keep you alive.” This was something his grandfather told him – often, repetitively and over and over and again and again and his grandfather was an interesting person, so he must
Pigeons don’t wear jerseys. Read More »
The Brussel Sprout Fart Bomb Coordination is critical; it is the binding protein of effective action. Garry had been training green wood pigeons to carry flash drives for when it – the system – all fell over. A date had been set – the clock was ticking. Moving around the aviary, he cooed softly to
The Brussel Sprout Fart Bomb Read More »
When Garry was five, he saw the Next-Door-Neighbour give his wife a knuckle sandwich in the mouth, not just one but a whole platter full. So many sandwiches that even if you spun round and round looking at the sky and then wobbled over to the party table, closed your eyes and used your non-dominant
The Ice Cream Truck Read More »